


E.V.O.L Therapy

by hitokiridarkempress



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Boys In Love, Gen, Humor, M/M, Mostly Gen, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Tony Being Tony, crackish, do not copy to another site, endgame i don't know her, fear the ironstrange fanclub, no sad endings here, villains needing therapy, wong and rhodey are so done with their white boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 06:29:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20205259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hitokiridarkempress/pseuds/hitokiridarkempress
Summary: Even the villains aren't safe from witnessing Tony and Stephen's nastyness. A support group is formed because of it.





	E.V.O.L Therapy

**Author's Note:**

> Since Tony's villains don't have a real legit reason to hate Tony. I'll give them a real one. Why should Wong and Rhodey be subjected to be the only victims of seeing their two nasty ass white boys go at it? 
> 
> Plus I need to balance out the hurting Stephen time I've been doing on Tumblr anyway.

At first it was just one unlucky bastard who had the fortunate or unfortunate (depending on one’s point of view) luck of successfully catching Iron Man and Doctor Strange off-guard and totally unprotected. However, the poor bastard walked in on seeing a naked Tony Stark being spit-roasted by two equally naked Stranges. The poor son of a bitch ran to the nearest bar to get rid of the images in his head. Vowing to never speak of it to his superiors, no one would believe him anyway. Goddamn Stark…

The second victim fared no better, after successfully sneaking into one of Stark’s galas and seeing the billionaire sneaking off alone in an empty hallway. Only to walk right around the corner to see Stark and Strange literally attached to the hip with not a care in the world. He too proceeded to run to the nearest bar and proceeded to drink as many of the free top shelf drinks he can, courtesy of Tony Stark.

The third sap is still catatonic sometimes screaming out whenever someone mentions tentacles…

It got progressively worse after that. Seeing that many dicks in different shapes and sizes ramming into a small man tends to mess up a person.

Slowly but surely, a support group is formed, bonded by the traumatic memories of seeing their most hated enemies being absolutely filthy with each other and the promise of endless amount of alcohol. There are quite a few chapters worldwide.

There are a few ground rules of joining the **E**verlasting **V**ictims **O**f **L**osing. One, they must hate Tony Stark and Doctor Strange. Two, they must never speak of the group in front of outsiders. Three, all must avoid the Ironstrange fan club at all cost and keep them from trying to enter their sanctuary. Four, all must support each other when a new member arrives after being freshly traumatized by Stark and Strange. Five, leave weekly tributes to the patron saints in order to avoid running into Stark and Strange’s “private time.” No one wants a repeat of the infamous A.S.S fiasco. And lastly sixth, _never_ conduct any villainous activities while the Stark’s away alert is in effect. A cock-blocked Iron Man and Sorcerer Supreme will usually involve a heavier beating than usual, hearing Stark’s rants in graphic detail about them interrupted their fun time, and being tied up and forced to see/hear them go right back at it in a dark alleyway while waiting for law enforcement to come, which takes them at least 30 minutes to get here. Their tax dollars at work…

Some villains have quit altogether, citing it was a sign for them to stop what they’re doing in life. Others have managed to return to civilian life, some turned into recluses, some turned Amish, and some even went on to become disciples of Stark and Strange’s best friends in order to learn their secrets. They can’t blame them for being sick and tired of Stark’s ability to ruin everyone’s appetite. No one wants to kidnap him anymore. Not after hearing Stark’s filthy mouth on how the coffee is missing Strange’s hot cream or even trying to gag Stark will only make him recount every filthy detail on how Strange loves tying him up. And the man talks in his sleep on how much he loves Strange’s dick.

No, just…no.

They can’t even get access to Stark’s B.A.R.F. technology because all the Ironstrange fans would just use it for their own sick amusement. Nobody appreciates villains these days. And their insurance doesn’t cover mental trauma caused by Stark’s antics.

Being a villain lost its luster now, if they’re not beaten by the Avengers on a daily basis, then they’re fighting a war they can’t win against the Ironstrange fanclub. Some crafty fan has found out about their support group and figured if they become a villain, sooner or later they’ll manage to walk in on Stark and Strange. Every villain organization has tightened their hiring process because of that. Those fans are frightening…

The support group was meant to help deal with the trauma, not to be exploited and be subjected with more new trauma! It’s become a real sausage fest; some villainesses have gone to the _other_ side. It just isn’t fair!

Goddamn Stark for getting all the girls, having a religion under his name, and have the nerve to be happy with his boyfriend. They’re trying to deal with their trauma and still trying to plan world domination at the same time.

Goddamn Stark.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the patron saints are Wong and Rhodey. They deserve it after dealing with Tony and Stephen's crap on a daily basis.
> 
> Reviews are absolute love or drop by at my Tumblr at [MetalandFood](https://metalandfood.tumblr.com/)


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